The Great Debate: Vampires vs. Zombies
OCTOBER HAS FINALLY ARRIVED! And just when everything is flavored with pumpkin-deliciousness, I kick into full-Halloween mode. Apples have been smothered in caramel, my costume is ready to ship, the front lawn has been transformed into a graveyard, and my Netflix is queued up with all the classics.
What are our customers doing to get into the spirit of the season? Zombie costumes and vampire costumes are flying off the shelf in record numbers, so it got me to thinking: Who would win in the battle of the undead?
Who’s the best looking? Vampires – no contest. I mean, even if we take Angel and Edward (because I’m looking past the sparkles) out of mix, we’re talking about guys and gals who love the nightlife, maintain their youthful good looks for centuries, and nibble a neck or two to get their blood fix. Zombies, on the other hand, are always oozing and decaying. There’s nothing appealing about a walking cadaver on the hunt for brains.
Who’s the scariest? Zombies. It’s possible that they win this category because they’ve fully embraced the ick-factor. Either way, zombies play the shock-and-awe card with their marred faces, blood-stained lips and shamble-walk.
Who has the most fascinating lore? Vampires. From the classic Transylvanian Dracula, to those good-looking “Lost Boys”, their dark and brooding back stories scintillate the senses. With stories that span six lifetimes, it’s hard not to be at least as interesting as the ‘Dos Equis’ dude. Zombies, on the other hand talk of a virus and then default to a bunch of grunting, growling and gnawing on human remains *charming!*.
Who does the most damage? Tie. This category came down to longevity versus legacy. Vampires have years to rack up victims (as long as they keep away from girls named, Buffy) and don’t attack every swan-like stranger they meet. Zombies, on the other hand, make their blood-sucking counterparts look like finicky feeders. They kill with reckless abandon – leaving a horde in their wake.
Do you agree with these zombie vs. vampire assessments? If not, tell who wins in your book!
Share and Enjoy
October 4, 2012 Thursday at 2:05 pm